Seven of Nine (of Six, really, but who's counting?)

I know, I know...I said I'd never do the meme thing again.

But SSTOL regular Joel — from over at Words, Weights, Whatever — asked very politely, so I'm making an exception this time. It's amazing, the things I'll do for my friends.

Seven things I plan to do before I die:

• Finish the novel I've been working on for 20-plus years.
  
  
• See my daughter graduate from college.
  
  
• Return to Crete, where I lived for two years in the early 1970s.
  
  
• Pitch a script to a major comic book publisher.
  
  
• Play in the World Series of Poker.
  
  
• Sing in the International barbershop quartet contest.
  
  
• Win on Jeopardy! (Wait... I already did that. Several times.)

Seven things I can do:

• Be spontaneously brilliant.
  
  
• Command an audience’s attention.
  
  
• Give unconditional love.
  
  
• Sing a line the same way repeatedly.
  
  
• Compose limericks in my head, on the fly.
  
  
• Read 550 words per minute.
  
  
• Quote every line of Bruce Lee’s dialogue from Enter the Dragon.

Seven things I cannot do:

• Nap without ruining the rest of the day.
  
  
• Stay angry for more than an hour or two.
  
  
• Play chess worth a darn.
  
  
• Type with all my fingers.
  
  
• Understand the appeal of Carrot Top.
  
  
• Tolerate heights, bigotry, or hardcore country music.
  
  
• Dunk a basketball, unless the backboard is really, really low.

Seven things that attract me to the opposite sex:

• Curious intelligence.
  
  
• Laughing eyes and a ready smile.
  
  
• Generous hips, and the sexual self-confidence to carry them with panache. (A bit of a tummy is cute, too.)
  
  
• Eyeglasses, worn at least some of the time.
  
  
• A clever, flirtatious sense of humor.
  
  
• A powerful personality — passion and compassion in equal measure.
  
  
• A sensual voice.

Seven things that I say most often:

• "What’s up with that?"
  
  
• "What did I do with my pen?"
  
  
• "I forgot."
  
  
• "Yeah, right."
  
  
• "Where’s the gizmo?" (usually used in reference to one of the many remote controls)
  
  
• "What did I do now?"
  
  
• "I need coffee."

Seven celebrity crushes:

• Linda Fiorentino
  
  
• Diane Lane
  
  
• Annette O’Toole
  
  
• Melanie Lynskey
  
  
• Ann Wilson, the lead singer of Heart
  
  
• Marcy Walker
  
  
• Martha Quinn