The master of understatement

President Bush today assessed the federal government's response to the Hurricane Katrina disaster, saying, "The results are not acceptable."

That's a little like your doctor, observing that you have terminal cancer that's going to devour your insides in about two days, telling you, "The outcome appears less than favorable."

Gee whillikers, George: People are dying in the flooded streets of a major American city, 80 percent of whose land area is underwater. After four days, these folks have no food, no drinking water, no toilet or bathing facilities, no medical care, and no clean dry place to sleep. The National Guard, the people who usually help out in times like these, are unable to act effectively because half of them are in another hemisphere, chasing phantoms through Iraqi back alleys. And to you, that's "not acceptable."

I'm sure the residents of New Orleans are relieved to see that you're on top of the situation.