Are those explosives you're carrying, Miss, or is it just chilly in this terminal?

The Transportation Security Administration (motto: "We Grope Your Fellow Passengers, So You Don't Have To"), in its infinite(simal) wisdom, decided today that it's really not okay for its minions to get to second base with female airline travelers whenever they (you know it's coming...) feel like it.

In a related story, TSA is mounting an all-out recruiting drive in the wake of a sudden and unexplained mass resignation of disgruntled airport security personnel.