Yo quiero home run to left-center

Taco Bell — America's favorite purveyor of faux Mexican cuisine — has announced that if a player from either the Detroit Tigers or the St. Louis Cardinals hits a home run to left or center field during tonight's Game Three of the World Series, everyone in the U.S. and Canada gets a free beef taco.

There's a catch, of course. The free tacos, if the aforementioned ballpark blast occurs, will only be available on Wednesday, November 1, between the hours of 2 p.m. and 5 p.m.

Taco Bell officials appear to be taking the Fifth on the reasons why only a left or center field homer qualifies to ignite the promotion. I'm certain that conservative pundits will have a (right) field day with that little tidbit.

Assuming some slugger for either the Tigers or the Cards comes through tonight, please feel welcome to hook me up if you don't want your free taco.

Vegetarians, I'm your huckleberry.

[We interrupt this blog post to bring you this SSTOL special bulletin...]

THIS JUST IN: No player on either team hit a home run in tonight's World Series game. Cardiologists across North America breathed a collective sigh of relief.

[We now return you to our regularly scheduled foofaraw.]