An action plan for Memorial Day

Today is Memorial Day. (At least, it's Monday Holiday Bill Memorial Day. The real thing is actually tomorrow. But you probably have to work then.)

To honor the contributions of the men and women who have sacrificed their lives to help ensure our continued freedom, go out and smack a Nazi.

It's what Captain America would do.



If you can't find a Nazi to smack in your neck of the woods, any of the following will suffice:

• Donald Rumsfeld.
  
• Jerry Falwell. Or Pat Robertson. (Unless they're the same guy. Which I think they might be.)
  
• Rush Limbaugh. Or anyone who says "ditto."
  
• Ann Coulter.
  
• Any random member of the Fox News staff.
  
• Pat Buchanan. Or Bay Buchanan. Or James Buchanan, except I think he's dead.
  
• Ward Connerly.
  
• Arnold Schwarzenegger. (Just be prepared to run. Remember what happened to James Earl Jones in the first Conan movie.)
  
• Anyone with a Confederate flag on his truck. Or his belt buckle. Or his baseball cap. Or anywhere.
  
• Charles Krauthammer, as long as you don't have a problem with smacking a guy in a wheelchair. If you do, I understand.
  
• James Sensenbrenner.
  
• Antonin Scalia. Or Clarence Thomas. (Unless they're the same guy, wearing different makeup.)
  
• Anyone who quotes William F. Buckley, William Shockley, or Ayn Rand in casual conversation.

Mind you, I'm not implying that any of the people listed above are actually Nazis... just that they might benefit from a good smack, if you happen to run into them today.

It's what Captain America would do.