My homework was never quite like this

This week, our coveted Mary Kay Letourneau Award goes to 30-year-old Colorado social studies teacher Carrie McCandless, who's mulling over a plea bargain after getting caught drinking and canoodling with a 17-year-old male student.



According to the Denver Post, McCandless was chaperoning an overnight field trip to a YMCA camp ("You can do whatever you feel") last October, when she and the unnamed student exchanged various and sundry carnal pleasures in her cabin. (Apparently Carrie confused the words "chaperone" and "courtesan." A common error.)

The student later told police that he and McCandless also "made out" once in the parking lot of a local Sam's Club. This young man has already learned an important romantic secret: For many women, nothing is a greater turn-on than discount merchandise.

In a note to her student-slash-paramour, McCandless told the young Lothario that steaming up the cabin windows with him was "totally fun." Obviously, McCandless perfected her educational philosophy at Ridgemont High.

Somewhere in America, David Lee Roth is grinning from ear to ear.