Greasy palm gets slapped

To paraphrase the novelist Nelson Algren, there are three rules in life:

Never play poker with a man named "Doc."

Never eat at a place called "Mom's."

Never get into bed with a Congressman named "Duke."

Representative Randy "Duke" Cunningham (R-San Diego) got caught with his hand in the cookie jar, after accepting $2.5 million in bribes. Cunningham's indiscretion will likely cost him a few years in federal prison, as well as his office and most of his ill-gotten gain.

Yo, Duke, you didn't think anyone was going to notice the Rolls-Royce and the yacht?

On the radio yesterday, I heard a university professor psychoanalyzing the reasons why a guy like Cunningham, a decorated Vietnam veteran and a member of powerful Congressional committees, would go on the take.

Umm... how about money?

Does there always have to be some labyrinth of deep-seated pathology every time someone commits a crime? Maybe Cunningham just likes the long green, and a couple of defense contractors with a lot of it volunteered to share some with him in exchange for lucrative government appropriations.

Simple. If stupid. Had he quit Congress and become a lobbyist, Cunningham could have made several times as much money — legally.

But then again, if Duke were smart, he wouldn't have been a Republican.