Be fruitful and multiply

When I read the headline, "Arkansas Mother Gives Birth to 16th Child," my first thought was:

Haven't they all?

Asked whether the family was ready to pull the plug on its one-house population explosion, proud papa Jim Bob Duggar (didn't you just know his name would be Jim Bob?) said:

We both just love children and we consider each a blessing from the Lord. I have asked Michelle if she wants more and she said yes, if the Lord wants to give us some she will accept them.

That's a little like standing in the middle of the track at Indianapolis Motor Speedway on the Sunday before Memorial Day and saying, "If the Lord wants me to get submarined by a race car going 220 miles per hour, I will accept it."

And to think, this guy used to be an Arkansas state representative. But then, that kind of makes sense, when one thinks about politicians from Arkansas.

I note with interest that all 16 of the Duggar children have first names beginning with the letter "J." Not surprisingly, none of the kids is named "Jimmie." (If you didn't get that joke, this may help.)

The Duggars and their need to breed remind me of that legendary moment in broadcasting history when a certain Mrs. Story appeared as a contestant on Groucho Marx's radio program, You Bet Your Life. Upon hearing that Mrs. Story was the mother of 19 children, Groucho asked her, "Why do you have so many children? That's a big responsibility and a big burden."

Mrs. Story answered, "Well, I love my husband, Groucho."

To which the great comedian responded, "Lady, I love my cigar, too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while."