Maybe he was already drunk when he got dressed

Submitted for your approval, courtesy of the world's greatest muckrakers at The Smoking Gun, is Jon Matteson of Hillsborough County, Florida, who should be named (at least) first runner-up in the Worst T-Shirt to Be Wearing When Busted for Driving Under the Influence:



A few questions that I would love to pose to the unfortunate Mr. Matteson:

• Do you really love midget porn? And if so, where did your childhood tragically derail?
  
  
• Assuming for the sake of discussion that you actually do love midget porn, is this a predilection that ought to be trumpeted to the world? I mean, let's say you were in a bar — and since you were nailed for driving drunk, that seems a reasonable thing to say — will publicizing your affection for midget porn help you pick up women? (Women who aren't midgets, that is.)
  
  
• Were you not aware that most persons of substandard stature find the designation "midget" offensive, prefering the less derogatory "little person"? Or did "I (heart) little people porn" simply not fit on a T-shirt?
  
  
• If one were so inclined, where would one go to purchase an "I (heart) midget porn" T-shirt?
  
  
• For that matter, where would one go to purchase midget porn?
  
  
• Does midget porn actually exist? Who's watching it besides you? Do those people live anywhere near me?

Youth wants to know.