Turkey TV

If you haven't had your annual fix already (I got mine a couple of days ago), sometime in the next 24 hours you and yours need to settle in and watch the quintessential Thanksgiving movie: John Hughes's modern classic Planes, Trains and Automobiles. Steve Martin and the late, much lamented John Candy star as two hapless, hopelessly mismatched travelers trying to get home for Turkey Day in the face of insurmountable circumstances. One of my favorite unknown actresses, Laila Robins, makes her big-screen debut as Martin's wife.

You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll pass your plate for another load-up of mashed potatoes and cornbread dressing. (It's only "stuffing" if it was cooked inside the bird, which is unsanitary, as you well know. And if you're eating that Stove Top garbage, you should be ashamed of yourself.)

Warning for sensitive ears: If you rent the theatrical version, there are a couple of scenes featuring some pretty raw profanity — not exactly what you want to throw on for post-dinner viewing with Grandma and Cousin Bertha. But check your local listings; a TV station or cable outlet in your area is bound to show the bowdlerized-for-network version sometime on Thanksgiving. Uncle Swan says check it out.